My Dream: the “courage to see”

"Wherever you turn your eyes the world can shine like transfiguration. You don't have to bring a thing to it except a little willingness to see. Only, who could have the courage to see it?" -- Marilynne Robinson, Gilead 

On a backpacking trip in the summer of COVID-19, I had a realization. I feel alive in the wilderness in a way I don't feel anywhere else. I feel like I could walk and see and pray and reflect for days, weeks, maybe months. I thought of the Desert Fathers, spiritual ascetics devoted to prayer. I feel a call to be one.

I also feel called to be a hospital chaplain, a clinical ethics consultant, a minister in the midst of terrible suffering. And I'm called to join my new husband in making a life together of mutual support and love, till death do us part.

How can I reconcile all of these things? In conversation with my friends on that trip, a dream began to crystallize. I could use photography and my time in the wilderness to reflect and pray about the things I encounter in my life as a chaplain, ethicist, wife, friend, and spiritual traveler. And then I could share it with you, my readers and friends. Maybe some day I could sell some photographs. Maybe some day I could write reflections that could move and encourage others in a way I could sustain. But for now: I'll live and love and serve -- and I'll write, create, share, hike, and pray.

I would love to be able to pray for you, reader, friend, as we go along. The quote at the top of this page has guided me in my ministry and life for years. I endeavor to have the courage to see -- the beautiful and the horrible and the transfiguration beyond imagination. Will you join me?