a final ordination anniversary

11 years ago today I was ordained as a Minister of Word and Sacrament in the Presbyterian Church (USA). Every year on this anniversary I reflected with gratitude and amazement at how sacred the work was that I was able to perform and experience in this role as a hospital chaplain.

But after several years of discernment and planning and studying bioethics — and the pandemic to boot — about 10 months ago I started working on unofficial loan to the ethics department. I was still a chaplain and still a member of my department and still, once in a while, for an extreme emergency, I would don my chaplain cloak (metaphorically - chaplain comes from the word for cloak) and perform the role.

At first I felt guilty, when I realized I wanted to leave. I felt like I was letting people down, like I was not fulfilling the call I had responded to.

But the lovely thing about Presbyterian theology of ordination is that it’s the work that is sacred, not the person. And you don’t sign on for life, or make vows of obedience, or a vow to stay for any specific amount of time.

I served as an ordained minister for over ten years, and I served as a chaplain for more than 12. It was a very good run. I am very, very grateful for the opportunity to do the work I did, the people I did it with, and the people who supported me along the way.

This year is likely the last year I’ll mark my ordination anniversary, and only as a way to note that it comes at a time when I’m officially beginning my work as a Clinical Ethicist.

Last summer, my friend and I took a chilly dip in an alpine lake as I was preparing for one chapter of my life to draw to a close and another to begin. This is a picture my friend took as I came up out of the water and took in the stunning mountain view.

I’m sharing that picture here. It’s with gratitude that I close this chapter, and with gratitude that I begin a new one.